She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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