maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
