If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Come on in and take your pants off
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