i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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