it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Randomize
