Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize