A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
