Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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