Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
