dude i'm inner monologue high
My cat gives me a boner
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
