I'm gonna have a badass scar
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
