If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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