i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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