belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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