hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
