I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
