return my video game
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
