i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize
