This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
