he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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