i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
