That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
