booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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