cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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