there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
