How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
