Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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