god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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