He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
