It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
