Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize