the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
They have beer where we have blood.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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