After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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