You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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