i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
