best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize