I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
