Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
