i just wanna soil my oats bro
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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