C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
