Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
