after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
