i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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