I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
