This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
