where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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