I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
