Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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