And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
