you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
