So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
