Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
