i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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