She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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