ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
