The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize