i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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