i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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