On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
