I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
my liver is dry heaving
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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