I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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