Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm sobbing to NWA
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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