There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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