sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
